Arnt Gulbrandsen
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Newfound wealth

I have found fifty-three dollars on my desk. I remember why they're there: 15-20 years ago, someone whose name I have forgotten gave me a dollar to help pay for a haircut and three others then chipped in. Their four dollars have littered my various offices since.

One of the three must've had too much to drink, because now that I look closely, I observe that one bill bears a portrait of Ulysses S. Grant and the number 50. Good. $49 is an appropriate fine for a joke as poor as that one. Justice has been served.